Close to my Skin

Thinking of the title to this new post I turned on my iTunes player and now listening to Accent Mix by vmix.fm The first song that came on is by Big Sexy and the title is Close to my Skin. Not entirely far from what I had in mind, I am writing right now about another crossroad in my life. The past few days have been challenging and interesting. I thought about my dreams as a child, I thought about why I am here where I am right now, I think about what’s going to happen to me in the future. I think about the long lost love I had that I wish that was still close to my skin.

For the past 2 years, my life has been in traveling mode. I have never felt like this before but now its pretty clear that I have to find my way home. But what is home for someone like me? I’m a product of a broken family. It is painful to write these things on a blog but even after all these years there are a few people that really know who I am. As an indie artist, I am able to support the music production and the music promotion through a job I used to have in the finance industry in Los Angeles. After the meltdown of the company I worked for, and many others, the plans have turned into nothing but just something I talk about. Ideas have turned into an invisible cloud of smoke. I’m trying to hang on as tough as I can. There are times when I want to make myself breakdown but even doing that feels exactly like a struggle.

Music gives me an opportunity to escape. It gives me serenity and hope. It gives me the chance to enjoy myself as I continue life against all odds. It makes me feel old and new emotions. It makes me want to explode. Like a brown paper bag, I wish I can be recycled so I can reach my full potential. Use me. Carry me to your home.