Getting a different point of view…

17 02 2010

I can’t help but to ask questions about why things  are the way they are. A friend told me she doesn’t know why things are the way they are. Another told me that our lives are predestined because of our genetics. Sometimes there is an exception, they say that the human brain is still a mystery. I am still a mystery to myself.

How am I able to write music? Where does that come from? Why do I hear melodies in my head. Why do I have to keep doing what I’m doing. There are a lot of things I have to fight for on a daily basis but sometimes I just want to stop trying. I try so hard but I don’t know where I am going. I try to make sense of a lot of things and sometimes I just want to give up.

I want to thank my friends for being there for me. In happiness and in tough times. Thank you.


Close to my Skin

7 02 2010

Thinking of the title to this new post I turned on my iTunes player and now listening to Accent Mix by The first song that came on is by Big Sexy and the title is Close to my Skin. Not entirely far from what I had in mind, I am writing right now about another crossroad in my life. The past few days have been challenging and interesting. I thought about my dreams as a child, I thought about why I am here where I am right now, I think about what’s going to happen to me in the future. I think about the long lost love I had that I wish that was still close to my skin.

For the past 2 years, my life has been in traveling mode. I have never felt like this before but now its pretty clear that I have to find my way home. But what is home for someone like me? I’m a product of a broken family. It is painful to write these things on a blog but even after all these years there are a few people that really know who I am. As an indie artist, I am able to support the music production and the music promotion through a job I used to have in the finance industry in Los Angeles. After the meltdown of the company I worked for, and many others, the plans have turned into nothing but just something I talk about. Ideas have turned into an invisible cloud of smoke. I’m trying to hang on as tough as I can. There are times when I want to make myself breakdown but even doing that feels exactly like a struggle.

Music gives me an opportunity to escape. It gives me serenity and hope. It gives me the chance to enjoy myself as I continue life against all odds. It makes me feel old and new emotions. It makes me want to explode. Like a brown paper bag, I wish I can be recycled so I can reach my full potential. Use me. Carry me to your home.

How far would they go?

1 02 2010

Information is information. I just saw this documentary last night and even though people have forgotten about it. These are facts that we can’t deny. What is social responsibility? Does it affect you?

The President and Rick Astley

30 01 2010

Facebook has a funny way of putting you back on memory lane. The fact is when I see all those people that I know but no longer in touch with.  It validates that  I really don’t have anything in common with them. They used to know me, I used to know them but other than that, I feel that they were lucky enough to be around me. I’m having a bit of a vain moment… just let me be 🙂

I was watching MSNBC at the gym a few hours ago and there was this really interesting question to the president. A lot of it actually was more like statements or assumptions that this current administration had increased the unemployment rate from the last year. The president had responded in a very comprehensive way.  I’m not really big on politics, but if you’re going to ask a question, make sure you don’t embarrass yourself on national television.  I have also been tweeting a lot about this whole Democrat Republican business. I personally think they should just all get along and solve this ridiculous crisis.  Enough with the … well your stimulus plan didn’t work so try ours. Really? I thought you guys were all smarter than a bag of chips.

So I did mention I got some tapes from Goodwill and I picked up a Rick Astley album. Why do people dislike him? I don’t think his songs were that bad hahaha. I remember it was such a big hit when I was in 6th grade, or maybe 5th. I always sing along when I hear this song.

Thinking about what life has to offer…

28 01 2010

Become a Millionaire next month. I just saw those exact words from an ad and I’m wondering why isn’t everyone a millionaire already. In these times it’s hard enough for most people to deal with this economic crisis and I would have to tell you straight from the source that being a musician is not much different either. Around the world, we were somehow taught that if you aspire to be in entertainment whether it’s going to be singing or acting, it is not something that one should pursue realistically. Of course this is not true for the very tiny percentage of people that had made it. But in my case I was raised to believe that I should have been a pediatrician.

Little kids are awesome in making up things, their imagination is free and innocent. Somehow I wish I didn’t know too much of the world we live in, it would have been better that way. I was at a store recently and I saw a shirt that says somewhere along the lines of “My career options were better when I was 6 “. It just made me laugh because to really think about it, you could be whatever you want to be. But Life isn’t perfect and one may have too much of one thing but lack another.

While watching the Tyra show today, I didn’t even know where to begin to assess the feelings I had for the world. It was about transgendered kids as little as 7.  It is normal to reject an idea that is something entirely new but to judge kids or parents or people how they should live or think or be a certain way is just something else. It’s one of things that you have to really treat with compassion. I wonder where I got my open-mindedness. I am sure that it is a number of events that had happened to me as I grow into the man that I am now.

I am really getting the hang of writing a blog regularly aside from my myspace account and there are a lot of things I still want to share, but I think that’s all for tonight. Don’t judge the book by its cover.